Monday, Monday

Aside from having to work on Saturday and the weather being crappy and my hamster missing it was a pretty good weekend. Hung out with some friends that I haven't really seen in awhile. Went rollerskating, which was an experience all on it's own. I haven't been on skates in god knows how long and it was really awkward at first, but I got the hang of it eventually. And I only fell once. Go Team Me!

And then Monday came and ruined it.

I am grateful that I have a job. I am. But that does not mean that I have to like working. Some days it's not so bad. Some days it's takes everything I have not to throw the shit they ask me to do and the shit they ask to to put up with back in their smug little faces and walk out the door in a blaze of glory and certain unemployment. I cannot wait for the day when I can tell them where to shove their policies and leave that crap.

It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for 2 things. 1) The customers. Why do you think that it is okay to yell at someone and berate them just because they don't know who you are. Do you know who I am? Do you know where I live? What's my husband's name? How long have I worked here? Where did I go to school? Oh. Don't know the answer? Then shut the fuck up. Just because you have been coming here for 40 million years does not mean you are above the rules. Kiss my ass. I hate you. And what kind of crap tard walks into a bank without any fucking ID on them?! Seriously?! Kiss my ass. I hate you.

And 2) the merger. I hate sales. If I wanted to be a sales person I would work at a car dealership where I would make more money and not have to deal with this bullshit all day. You can take your TOTSC and your TCHK and your damn CKCD and your stupid WSVANA and shove it. I don't care about any of that crap and you shoving it down my throat is not helping anyone.

I have to tell myself that this is not forever, that I will eventually find something better. Right? Seriously if I am still working there in a year, someone please punch me in the face to knock some god damn sense in me.

PS> If you couldn't tell already this blog is rated PG-13 for mild offensive language. Or is that R? I honestly don't know. I swear like a sailor. I think it's because I am so repressed at work (being nice to people all day sucks) that when I get home my filter is automatically turned off.

God I hate that job.

The week always makes me feel better though. Somehow I have trouble accepting things Monday. By Wednesday it doesn't seem to bother me so much and Fridays I am just excited for the weekend.

I think I like it better when I don't accept it. At least then I feel fired up to do something about it. I need to get the hell out of this town.

I do have some small stuff lined up for the coming months. I don't know that it will lead anywhere, but at least it's a way to stay plugged in.

Begin Again

I have started this blog several times, never really taking it anywhere or doing anything with it. I have used it to air grievances in the past, used it to whine about the direction my life has taken, used it to joke about the things I felt I had not control over.

I suck at writing and I suck at introspection. I don't review books or movies or video games. I don't have cooking tips. I'm not that funny in writing, and tend to come off as crabby instead of sassy. Like right now.

I don't know why I wanted to start a blog other than for my own selfish purposes. I'm working through the pile that my life is slowly falling into and I am trying to swim back to the surface and fine my direction and purpose once more.

I just graduated with an MFA in Scenic Design and am currently working at a bank. I hate my job and am desperately trying to find a way out, but so far have been unable to do so. I miss my theatre life like nobody's business and the camaraderie and excitement it lent to my life. I've become one of those drone bees who does nothing but look forward to the weekend.

So the purpose of this blog is to force myself to take a good long hard look at who I am and where I am going and force me to do something about the things I don't like.

In short (if you knew me you would be laughing at that) (because I am really short) I am looking for my lost ambition and drive. If anybody has seen it, I left it on stage at the Civic center at the beginning of last May when I shook that old dude's hand (I think he was the president of the university or something).

Hopefully they won't all be this whiny.